Psalm 3

Psalm 3

Lord, how many are my foes!  How many

rise up against me!!

Many are saying of me, God will not

deliver him.

But you, Lord, are a shield around me,

my glory, the One who lifts my head high.

I call out to the Lord, and he answers me

from his holy mountain.

I lie down and sleep; I wake again,

because the Lord sustains me.

I will not fear though tens of thousands

assail me on every side.

Arise, Lord!

Deliver me, my God!

Strike all my enemies on the jaw;

break the teeth of the wicked.

From the Lord comes deliverance.

May your blessings be on your people.

Count It All Joy

We are all going to go through hard times, there is no getting around that.  Some may have a harder time than others.  I know I have had my share of heartache and I'm sure you have too. The world is not an easy place to live and it doesn't seem to be getting better.  Satan loves to try to get us to focus on all that is wrong in ours lives; all that he is trying to destroy.  But God says otherwise:

                "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face
                 trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith
                 produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you
                 may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."  James 1:2-4

Easier said than done, right?  I have spent a lot of my time throwing pity parties.  "Why me, Lord?" or "I don't deserve this!".  It never really ends the way I think it's going to.  I wind up in a big ball of mess on my couch, feeling worse than I did when I started....just where Satan wants me to be.  He does come to steal, kill, and destroy after all. Jesus, on the other hand, came that we may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10).

I would much rather live my life with the understanding that every trial I am going through will eventually be turned into something good (Romans 8:28) instead of fearing everything that comes my way. I want to concentrate on what God has already done for me (Ecclesiastes 7:13) and not dwell on what Satan is TRYING to do. He is a liar and he wants you to feel defeated.

Your circumstances, whatever they may be, are nothing compared to the faithfulness of God.  God's will is to trust Him and thank Him ALL of the time, not just in the good times:

                    Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;
                    for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.  1 Thessalonians 5:17-18

I feel like I am the very last person who should be trying to convince people to "be thankful in all circumstances" and "consider what the Lord has done".  I have such a hard time with these things myself.  It's not something easy to do. It's not something that comes naturally.  I struggle with this daily. 

Like today.

I'm looking at my circumstances today and anxiety fills my heart.  Satan is whispering in my ear that nothing will ever change and he is reminding me of the ways God hasn't answered my prayers.  He wants so badly to discourage me, and for a time, I let him.  Then I remember that he who began a good work in me (and my family) will carry it on to completion (Philippians 1:6).

When times are good, be happy;

but when times are bad, consider this:

God has made the one as well as the other.

Therefore, no one can discover anything

about their future.  Ecclesiastes 7:14

Thank Him every day, even when you are at your lowest. He is working it all out and it's going to be GOOD.  

He Always Answers

There are things that I prayed about for years and I believed, without a doubt, that God would answer me. But he didn't...or did He?

Looking back, I see the ways the Lord made good on His promises. It wasn't exactly the way I had hoped and it wasn't in the time I thought it would take, but He did answer them.

Not having a stable home was something we were used to. We would move from place to place every few months. In the early summer of 2007, we were evicted from our last apartment. We had only lived there a few months, but I doubt the rent was ever paid.  We didn't have running water or electricity and that was normal for us. We had absolutely no place to go, so we left all of our things and stayed in a motel.

This wasn't a four star hotel. It was dark and dirty. There were drug deals going on at all hours of the day and night, dirt and mold in the showers, and shady people walking by the door all the time.  I felt so unsafe and so scared. I didn't know if someone would report us and take my girls away or if we would even be able to pay for another night in that disgusting place. 

After some time, we went to live with our pastors.  This was the beginning of our rescue and I didn't even know it.  I didn't have enough courage or strength at the time to leave my abusive marriage. I was so trapped in his delusional world that I didn't even know what reality was. I had been praying for things to change for years, but I saw no way out. I thought I would have to live like that forever.

But...

                         He is the God who avenges me, who subdues nations under me,
                        who saves me from my enemies.  You exalted me above my foes;
                        from a violent man you rescued me.  Psalm 18:47-48


After about six weeks, our pastors made my ex husband leave the house. He had opened credit cards in my children's names and they intercepted the bills when they came in the mail.  My parents came and got us and moved us back to my hometown. 

At first, I was terrified. He had me convinced that I couldn't live without him.  I had to learn how to lead a normal life and that was much harder than I had thought it would be.  I got a job and a driver's license (I hadn't had one in ten years).  I pressed charges against him for the credit card fraud and he has been in and out of prison ever since.

I now have a wonderful life. We are still dealing with the trauma from our past, but God is healing us in His time.  We are stable and happy. I have a husband who loves me and the girls now have a father who takes care of them. God really has restored and continues to restore the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25).

We don't realize everything God is doing when we are walking through the darkest valley (Psalm 23:4). Most of the time we panic and we worry. We don't see that God is answering our prayers according to His will. He knows what is best for us. He knows what path will bring Him the most glory and He knows exactly how long it should take. 

I didn't know at the time that God was doing exactly what I had asked him to do. As I look back now, I can see all the ways God was working to bring about His promises to me.  It was hard, but it was worth it.

Trust God to answer your prayers in HIS way. He is Omnipotent, He is All-Knowing, and He is God.

Out of the Fire

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Romans 5:8



We never think things are going to happen to us; we think that tragedy will never find it's way into our lives.  I think we try to push, to the back of our minds, the fact that we are not promised another day. But tragedy does strike.  In a split second, our lives can drastically change.

The nightmares were almost like a movie.  I was running down stairs into a fiery pit with two of my girls. I didn't know how to get out. I would wake in a panic. Little did I know, this fire would soon become a reality.

It was summer and very hot.  We only had a window air conditioner in the living room. The girls and I were in bed, but I was restless.  After an hour or so, I finally fell asleep. My ex husband stayed awake in the living room. I woke up to screaming. All I heard was "FIRE!".  I grabbed two of my girls and he grabbed the other.  We ran out of the duplex as fast as we could with just the clothes on our backs. The girls and I watched from the neighbor's window as all of our worldly possessions went up in smoke.

I would find a couple of years later that the fire was no accident. He set it on purpose. I'm not sure what his intentions were and it doesn't really matter now.  The one thing that stands out to me about this time in my life is this: GOD SAVED US.

Just as He saved us from this house fire, He also saved us from eternal fire. It says in Psalm 30:3 that the Lord brought us up from the realm of the dead. He spared us from going down to the pit.  Even in our darkest days, when we are bound by sin, He is there to reach down and pull us out. 

I think sometimes we are so engulfed by our sin, we don't know even know where to start.  We may think that God could never love or forgive someone like us or maybe we question why a loving God would allow bad things to happen to good people.  I know in my life, I have felt both of those things.

For so many years, I let my emotions separate me from a relationship with Jesus. I was angry, bitter, unforgiving, and guilty. I blamed God for all my hurt, but I also thought He could never forgive me for my sins. Satan LOVES to use our emotions against us.

When we hate, we can't feel God's love.
When we are unforgiving, we can't feel God's grace and forgiveness.
When we are bitter, we can't feel God's sweetness.

The list goes on and on...

Jesus wants to dig deep into the dirtiest part of our soul.  He wants to cleanse us from the inside out and rid us of all of our emotional baggage. He didn't die because we are perfect and whole. He died because we are broken humans in desperate need of a Savior.

Don't wait for tragedy to strike to look for Jesus. Don't push Him to the side because you think you have time to spare. He's knocking on the door of your heart and wanting to save you. He created you because He loves you.  It says in Psalm 18:19 that he rescued you because He delighted in you.

Don't waste a single second of your life doubting that God loves you and sent His Son to die for you.

He is real.
He is willing.
He is able.

Honesty

I woke up this morning feeling something I don't like. It's gnawing at me as I write this. I woke up feeling just a small amount of compassion for the man who hurt us; the man who brutally and unapologetically abused my girls. I don't want to feel this. He by no means deserves it. I want to hate him.

But more than that, I want to please Jesus.

I am trusting Him with this process. I know He knows where he is taking us and it's bigger than all of this pain and it's bigger than all of this trauma. He is taking us to a place of healing and restoration.

I won't lie, it hurts. It's the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy.

But I trust God.

None of what happened will define any of us. None of it will be wasted.
This is just the beginning for us. Our greater days are ahead (Haggai 2:9). 

My heart's desire is that lives will be changed because of the story we tell and to one day say it was all worth it.

He Restores

I was cleaning my house this morning  and it hit me...I have a home. I know this won't seem exciting to most people, but to me, it's huge. For years we moved from rental to rental and were homeless many times. We never had a place to really call "home". Our bills were never paid, we never had decent clothes to wear, we got our food from the local food pantry. My kids were never really safe.

But God made a promise to me.

He said he he would restore the years the locusts had eaten. He said I would have plenty to eat. He said never again would I be shamed (Joel 2:25-27).

The Lord kept His promise to me.

As I sit here in tears, so thankful for what He has done, I know that  this is just the beginning. If He can do this for me, He can do it for you. Don't doubt that for one second. He can take ANY life and make it new. I am proof of that. When you can't trust anyone else, trust God. He is SO real and He is SO faithful.

Just believe.

Ordinary but Extraordinary

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.  Acts 4:13

I don't have a college degree. I've been a mother since I was 18 and that has been my job.  I've often beaten myself up because I never thought I was qualified to do anything but take care of my kids,  but that's not true.

I don't have to be eloquent or full of human wisdom to proclaim to you the testimony of God (1 Corinthians 2:1).  He has done, and continues to do, some pretty miraculous things in my life.  All I have to do is be transparent. 

People are starving for the authentic. They want to see the real thing; real people. They don't care about your education. They care about your life...what you have experienced...what you have conquered.

The time of fraudulent perfection  is over. Everyone is sick of it. I'm sick of trying to be that. God has given the world an extraordinary gift and that gift is you and it's me. That gift contains the battles we have won (2 Chronicles 20:15) and the trials we have overcome. It's the fears and the failures that Jesus has turned into triumph.

So what, you're ordinary? So what, you're unschooled or weak? People will be anstonished because you have been with Jesus (Acts 4:13).

The world is listening.  Speak up.