There are things that I prayed about for years and I believed, without a doubt, that God would answer me. But he didn't...or did He?
Looking back, I see the ways the Lord made good on His promises. It wasn't exactly the way I had hoped and it wasn't in the time I thought it would take, but He did answer them.
Not having a stable home was something we were used to. We would move from place to place every few months. In the early summer of 2007, we were evicted from our last apartment. We had only lived there a few months, but I doubt the rent was ever paid. We didn't have running water or electricity and that was normal for us. We had absolutely no place to go, so we left all of our things and stayed in a motel.
This wasn't a four star hotel. It was dark and dirty. There were drug deals going on at all hours of the day and night, dirt and mold in the showers, and shady people walking by the door all the time. I felt so unsafe and so scared. I didn't know if someone would report us and take my girls away or if we would even be able to pay for another night in that disgusting place.
After some time, we went to live with our pastors. This was the beginning of our rescue and I didn't even know it. I didn't have enough courage or strength at the time to leave my abusive marriage. I was so trapped in his delusional world that I didn't even know what reality was. I had been praying for things to change for years, but I saw no way out. I thought I would have to live like that forever.
But...
He is the God who avenges me, who subdues nations under me,
who saves me from my enemies. You exalted me above my foes;
from a violent man you rescued me. Psalm 18:47-48
After about six weeks, our pastors made my ex husband leave the house. He had opened credit cards in my children's names and they intercepted the bills when they came in the mail. My parents came and got us and moved us back to my hometown.
At first, I was terrified. He had me convinced that I couldn't live without him. I had to learn how to lead a normal life and that was much harder than I had thought it would be. I got a job and a driver's license (I hadn't had one in ten years). I pressed charges against him for the credit card fraud and he has been in and out of prison ever since.
I now have a wonderful life. We are still dealing with the trauma from our past, but God is healing us in His time. We are stable and happy. I have a husband who loves me and the girls now have a father who takes care of them. God really has restored and continues to restore the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25).
We don't realize everything God is doing when we are walking through the darkest valley (Psalm 23:4). Most of the time we panic and we worry. We don't see that God is answering our prayers according to His will. He knows what is best for us. He knows what path will bring Him the most glory and He knows exactly how long it should take.
I didn't know at the time that God was doing exactly what I had asked him to do. As I look back now, I can see all the ways God was working to bring about His promises to me. It was hard, but it was worth it.
Trust God to answer your prayers in HIS way. He is Omnipotent, He is All-Knowing, and He is God.
Not having a stable home was something we were used to. We would move from place to place every few months. In the early summer of 2007, we were evicted from our last apartment. We had only lived there a few months, but I doubt the rent was ever paid. We didn't have running water or electricity and that was normal for us. We had absolutely no place to go, so we left all of our things and stayed in a motel.
This wasn't a four star hotel. It was dark and dirty. There were drug deals going on at all hours of the day and night, dirt and mold in the showers, and shady people walking by the door all the time. I felt so unsafe and so scared. I didn't know if someone would report us and take my girls away or if we would even be able to pay for another night in that disgusting place.
After some time, we went to live with our pastors. This was the beginning of our rescue and I didn't even know it. I didn't have enough courage or strength at the time to leave my abusive marriage. I was so trapped in his delusional world that I didn't even know what reality was. I had been praying for things to change for years, but I saw no way out. I thought I would have to live like that forever.
But...
He is the God who avenges me, who subdues nations under me,
who saves me from my enemies. You exalted me above my foes;
from a violent man you rescued me. Psalm 18:47-48
After about six weeks, our pastors made my ex husband leave the house. He had opened credit cards in my children's names and they intercepted the bills when they came in the mail. My parents came and got us and moved us back to my hometown.
At first, I was terrified. He had me convinced that I couldn't live without him. I had to learn how to lead a normal life and that was much harder than I had thought it would be. I got a job and a driver's license (I hadn't had one in ten years). I pressed charges against him for the credit card fraud and he has been in and out of prison ever since.
I now have a wonderful life. We are still dealing with the trauma from our past, but God is healing us in His time. We are stable and happy. I have a husband who loves me and the girls now have a father who takes care of them. God really has restored and continues to restore the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25).
We don't realize everything God is doing when we are walking through the darkest valley (Psalm 23:4). Most of the time we panic and we worry. We don't see that God is answering our prayers according to His will. He knows what is best for us. He knows what path will bring Him the most glory and He knows exactly how long it should take.
I didn't know at the time that God was doing exactly what I had asked him to do. As I look back now, I can see all the ways God was working to bring about His promises to me. It was hard, but it was worth it.
Trust God to answer your prayers in HIS way. He is Omnipotent, He is All-Knowing, and He is God.
Amen! I think most of us can relate to your testimony. The struggle at times to see God's purpose at work in our lives can seem insurmountable until we come to a place of resting in Him. But what sweet peace is ours when we finally begin to trust Him!
ReplyDeleteThis is so true and something I also struggle with a lot. I think we all do. It's tough sometimes to just let go and let God.
ReplyDeleteThis is more profound than you'd know... "After some time, we went to live with our pastors. This was the beginning of our rescue and I didn't even know it." How often is God working in our lives to make it better, and we didn't even know it. Thank you for that comfort.
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you for taking such a courageous step to leave and go it alone, especially with children! It's so tough to break away from an abusive relationship and hard to have that whole story be a part of your life but AMEN for the freedom found in Christ! Thank you for sharing your story, I hope it reaches and helps the ears it needs!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, my friend, He always answers whether we think so or not. Thankful He saved you from that relationship and is showing you the bigger picture.
ReplyDelete