Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Shake it off

My emotions, good or bad, have controlled my life for as long as I can remember. Depression, fear, and guilt have been my most natural responses when life throws me a curve ball. I curl up in a little ball and hide from the world. The bad thing about this response is I'm hiding from the very thing I want to help change. How can I tell my story when I'm driven by these destructive emotions? The truth is, I can't.

This morning I was drinking my coffee and reading my Bible, asking God to change me. He brings me to a scripture I have read so many times and have hanging by my front door. Joshua 24:15 says to choose this day who you will serve. That's when it hit me. I've been serving my emotions every day. I choose to dwell on depression, guilt, fear, and all the other things I feel on a daily basis instead of dwelling on God. He's the One who knows me and protects me. He is the One who holds my future. All the turmoil I feel inside is made to destroy, not bring life.

So this day I choose God. I choose to let Jesus go deeper than my wounds. I choose to let Him and His Words guide me and leave the rest behind.